Marguerite Ham
Life Balance, Success

Are You Living Your Values?

 , , itemprop="discussionURL"0

by Marguerite Ham If we live in a way that conflicts with our deep internal values, we can’t help but be unhappy, though we might not consciously know why. In the midst of our busy life, we don’t often stop to think about our personal value system. The list below will help you discover the values that have deep meaning to you. You can use these values to review your own personal value system which you can keep handy to help you assess new situations or re-assess any situation that makes you uneasy.  Often, when we are feeling strangely uncomfortable or upset in a situation, conversation or circumstance, it is because the situation is pushing against our value system.  What Are Your Values? Could you sit down and list your top five deep personal values? If not, this is a great exercise. To build your value list, read through this list of values and check any that have great importance to you. Don’t worry about dictionary definitions or what other people think; you know what these words represent to you, and that’s what is important. The words you check should represent principles you hold dear or values you strive to …

Communication, Leadership, Self Improvement

Energize Your Workplace with Empathy

 , itemprop="discussionURL"0

by Marguerite Ham I have often been asked “What is the difference between empathy & sympathy?” Although they are similar, they do have different meanings, especially when it comes to the workplace. Empathy is a great quality to develop to improve your leadership skills by building meaningful relationships with those you lead.  Empathy definition Webster Empathy is defined as the ability to understand the thoughts feelings or emotions of someone else. An example of empathy is feeling the same amount of excitement as a friend, when they tell you they’re getting married. Empathic: the psychological identification with the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of others. Sympathy Definition Webster Sympathy is defined as feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune: an understanding between people; common feeling.  In general, ‘sympathy’ is when you understand and care about the feelings of another person; ’empathy’ is when you share those feelings.  Sympathy means together, at the same time; a shared feeling of community and understanding of those feelings.  Empathy emphasizes the notion of projection. You have empathy for a person when you can imagine how they might feel based on what you know about that person and share those feelings. Empathy and Sympathy …

Coaching

6 Habits of Extraordinary Coaches

itemprop="discussionURL"0

Becoming an extraordinary coach is such a blessing. Coaches create the opportunity to develop ourselves and others at the same time!  Coaching is a helping relationship in which the coach and client become partners in assisting the client to reach their personal and professional potential. Spiritually, coaching is a way of being a servant human being, focusing on the growth and development of others. Coaching has become one of the most fulfilling parts of my business over the last 30 years, 20 of which I have been coaching in organizations and training others to become coaches.  Below is a list of six characteristics of extraordinary coaches!  What really makes an extraordinary coach is not just one, but a combination of all the characteristics below.  Enjoy the journey of becoming a coach. I highly recommend it! 1 Positive Attitude & Passion Having a positive way of being balanced with what is factual and real to maintain perspective allows the “coachee” to feel supported and uplifted and also address fact versus fiction or perception during a coaching session.  Being passionate about your coaching practice is so important; people feel your passion and dedication to what you do and want to hire you …

Leadership, Life Balance, Success

Leaders Set the Example

itemprop="discussionURL"0

A friend and client, John Horan, forwarded a Harvard Business Review article to me: Leading Teams: If You Multitask During Meetings, Your Team Will, Too. I found it interesting and right on!  I think we each occasionally find ourselves guilty of the sins noted in this article and setting a bad example for our team.  Take a few minutes to read the article. Then think about it, and then find ways to take small steps and make small changes to set the example for your co-workers, direct reports and peers! Here are some highlights from the article: The more senior (years and position) we become in an organization, the more influence and impact we have on others – the ripple effect amplifies! Self-awareness comes into play – take time to reflect and ask yourself the questions below – be honest! Common Examples that Have a Negative Ripple Effect Working after hours – I am guilty of this one!  (Note:  I used the delayed delivery option so this would go out on Monday afternoon instead of Sunday night!) Sending emails at night is a problem (study in the article looked at Sunday evening – very interesting research, check it out!) Most …

Leadership, Success

Trust and Team Building

itemprop="discussionURL"0

The post before last was about finding balance in your life, based on information from the book  Breaking the Trust Barrier, by JV Venable.  If you recall, Venable was a commander and demonstration leader of the Thunderbirds, the USAF’s elite demonstration team. In addition to balance, the author addresses building teams – and the commander of a team whose slightest mistake can cause death and disaster knows something about building strong, tight, effective, high-functioning teams! Critical characteristics of a high-functioning team There are three key components to a great team: Trust Loyalty Commitment Trust: The willingness to put yourself or your team at risk with the belief that another will follow through with a task, in a role, or with a mission. Loyalty: Cohesion within a relationship – the kind that can be built only on the foundation of commitment. It is fostered by a leader’s willingness to go the distance to support his/her team without the expectation that they will respond in kind. Commitment: The demonstrated will to deliver for the people around you. Building a Team No matter how willing people are to work together, deep feelings like trust, loyalty, and commitment take time to develop. Steven Covey …

Life Balance, Self care

Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World

 , , , , , itemprop="discussionURL"0

I recently read a book, Breaking the Trust Barrier, by JV Venable —  an excellent book; I highly recommend it!  One of the topics it touched on was creating balance in our lives.  The author, a former commander and demonstration leader of the USAF’s elite demonstration team, the Thunderbirds, suggested a way to monitor our life balance through the “Pillars of Life”.  His Pillars of Life are: Faith Family Friends Health Work If one of the five is out of balance, it will affect the others in some way, and the pillars eventually start crumbling!  How to Know if Balance is Missing in Your Life Most of us are “busy being busy” and rarely take the time to reflect on these five key areas to monitor our life balance.  I have been training and coaching people in organizations for over 30 years, and I continue to consistently hear: I am so tired I feel like I am burned out I don’t have time to breathe I never have enough time for “me” I wish I could take a vacation by myself and disconnect I am not sleeping well My tank is so empty I have nothing to give my family …

Self care

5 Tips for Holiday Self-Care

 , , itemprop="discussionURL"0

Holidays are advertised as joyful times, but they can be tremendously stressful when you’re the one tasked with creating joy for others! Take care of yourself to take care of others. One: Give Yourself Permission to Take Care of Yourself Say “No” when you need to. Set boundaries Find time for yourself A moment of self-reflection Treat yourself to a massage Go for a walk BREATHE – Use a 3 minute breathing meditation to center. Take a few minutes and simply take a few deep breaths (when we are stressed we tend to breathe shallowly.  When you get ramped up about traffic, lines, scurrying around – breathe through it! If you like phone apps, find a meditation app and load it so you can take a break while on the go, when you need it most. Ask yourself:  What do I want most from this holiday season? What is most important to me? What traditions are most important to me? Who do I really want to spend time with? Two: Involve all of Your Senses Be present wherever you are: Sitting in traffic – put some calming or upbeat music (whatever that is for you:  Christmas music, Jazz, Classical, Rock) …

Coaching, Leadership, Self Improvement

How Accountability and Resilience are Connected

 , , , itemprop="discussionURL"0

I recently had a conversation with a client which generated a leadership AHA! about how accountability and resilience are connected.  In this situation, a millennial was involved.  He had been working for a year with this organization, and his manager had had 18 conversations about performance issues with this person.  Several of these challenges created liability issues for the organization, customer service failures, and employee morale issues for the people they work with and serve.   The situation became more complicated because this person was friends with the owner of the company.  Lots of challenges here! Millennials What Do Millennials Want? Millennials.  There have been lots of conversations, complaints, discussions and challenges stated about Millennials in the workplace.  Simon Sinek states in his famous You Tube, “BEST SPEECH EVER – Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace”, with more than 2.5 million views: “Millennials, born approximately 1984 and after, are tough to manage and accused of being entitled, and narcissistic, self-interested, unfocused, lazy.  But entitled is a big one.  Because they have confounded leaders so much, they have asked of Millennials, ‘what do you want?’  Millennials are saying, ‘We want to work in a place with a purpose. We want to …

Leadership, Life Balance

Leadership and Gratitude

 , , itemprop="discussionURL"0

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and a perfect time for reflecting on the people we are grateful for in our personal and professional lives. Find ways to demonstrate gratitude all year long! In my workshops and retreats discussing leadership, there are many important leadership characteristics that seem to come up over and over again: Humility Honest and Respectful Communication Clear Vision Trustworthy I am certain you could add many more to this list… The one characteristic I wish I heard more often is Showing Gratitude.  There is a lot of research that supports leadership and the importance of thanking people and showing gratitude.  When co-workers, peers, direct reports, and employees feel adequately recognized and appreciated, they take more ownership in their position, feel more fulfilled, and actually stay at their job.  We know and understand the painful costs in time and energy in replacing valuable staff members.  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: You can see how Showing Gratitude fits into four out of the five basic human needs.  Knowing this, why don’t more leaders demonstrate their gratitude by providing positive feedback and recognition?  Here are some reasons:    They feel that the employee is paid well, and providing them with …

Communication, Success

Crucial conversations with the C Style

itemprop="discussionURL"0

Today, we wrap up the series of communication tips based on DISC styles with hints for strong C’s, the Mr. Spocks of the office. Even if you don’t need it right now, you can bookmark the first article, which contains links to the others, and keep it for reference when you do run into a thorny communication problem with another style. Was this helpful to you? Please comment or drop me a line if you liked it or want to see more on this topic. Feedback is always helpful! If you’re a high C, here’s how you relate… …to a high D: People with the D style like to get right to the point. They want things to happen quickly and don’t want to spend a lot of time dwelling on specifics. You’re more likely to be careful and systematic, taking the time to point out logical objections. You may find their blunt, forceful approach to be pushy or reckless. They may see your persistent questions as a barrier to progress. Strategies: Talk about big picture and bottom line rather than details Show them that you can move quickly when necessary Voice concerns, but avoid saying something “won’t work”. When …