Marguerite Ham

Sleep Deprived??? 8 Ways to Get Better Rest and Change Your Life

Are you among the millions of sleep-deprived humans who may be endangering their lives by burning too much midnight oil? In Arianna Huffington’s new book, The Sleep Revolution, she discusses how she healed her poor sleep habits and changed her life. Sleep is a subject of deep concern for everyone. You absolutely need it, and most want it desperately. There’s so much to do in this busy, busy, busy life that the twenty-four hours which has been allotted to us each day just isn’t enough anymore. Arianna Huffington collapsed from exhaustion in 2007. In her latest book, she discusses the science behind the human need for rest. Sleep is essential for life As a coach and corporate trainer for almost 30 years, I have heard over and over the statement “I need to create more balance in my life!”  When I ask what that means, the number one answer is, “I just don’t get enough sleep.” Or, “I don’t sleep very well.”  Or, “I can’t seem to turn my brain off at night.”  Sleep is a vital component of good health and well being. I, too, have had my challenges with sleep, monkey brain and feeling exhausted after a restless night of sleep or not sleeping!  …

Chart Your Course for Change

You can’t get where you’re going if you don’t know where that is! Every year, it is a great idea to chart your course for the upcoming year by creating a Vision Board. What is a Vision Board? A “visual” representation of what you want to create or what you want to accomplish. I recently read an article on the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware. They are: I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard/much. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Take a good look at that list. I bet we all can relate to something on it, no matter what age we are currently! So, my question to you is: What are you going to do about it??? I am reading a leadership book, Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud; he says that leaders need to create boundaries. The definition of boundary is: a structure that determines what will exist and what …

I Wish YOU Would Change!

Can you believe it’s March already? Spring arrives this month, so we “spring forward.” Before April comes, there will be a bustling feeling of rebirth and renewal in the air. Consequently, we feel an urge to make a change in our own lives. Are you stuck in a rut? Spring is a great time to consider change in our lives, whether it’s personal or professional, mental or physical or spiritual, ourselves or our relationships. Too often, we get stuck in ruts and wish things would change, or try to change only to find that it’s way harder than we thought. This month, our blog theme is change, in order to greet spring and renew and rebuild ourselves! How do we know we need a change? Some of the thoughts that may run though our heads are: “I only wish (Name) would change and do (this – fill in the blank)!” “(This) just keeps on happening to me!” “Why can’t (name) behave or do (this)!” It’s not you — it’s me. It’s only natural when we’re not entirely happy with the status quo that we wish others would change around us and live up to our expectations.  Actually, the only person we have the power to change is OURSELVES!  Pay attention to how you are responding and …

Catch Coaching Opportunities

To effect true transformational change, heart-led leaders draw on the qualities of humility, vulnerability, transparency, empathy and love. Tommy Spaulding Coaching is a key skill for successful leaders.  Coaching is a fantastic way to continuously develop your staff and help them feel that you truly care for them individually and about their personal and professional development – coaching is purely for them! I have heard from many of my clients about how valuable the book “A Manager’s Guide to Coaching: Simple and Effective Ways to Get the Best From Your Employees” by Brian Emerson was for them.  I want to put this information on your radar so you can keep learning and moving forward!  Key Coaching Cues Coachable moments arise when someone gives subtle clues that not everything they are thinking is being fully processed or expressed. Watch for these cues, and seize those valuable coachable moments! Limiting beliefs Assumptions, interpretations, limited perceptions Throw-away comments (“That will never happen.”  “It has always been like this.” “I have never been able to…”) Missing pieces in a story Strong or weak energy Inconsistent statement Inflation of roles (“I am the manager.” “It’s all up to me.”) Repeated phrases or words (frustrated, angry, upset) There are ways to “call coaching out” …

Acting It Out Instead of Talking It Out

Crucial conversations in the workplace are critical to success and a healthy culture.  When truths need to be shared but they are not, negative energy builds and we start talking about others instead of to the personwhere the communication breakdown occurred.   When we choose not to talk to the person where the misunderstanding has occurred we have stepped into the place of Acting it Out!  Or, another way we Act it Out is by avoidance – we avoid the person, we become sarcastic and start picking at another person for no apparent reason…passive-aggressive behavior! This solves nothing and creates an unsafe culture for everyone.  Secret conversations (talking about others behind their backs) begin and they spread like a virus and most of what is “passed on” to others are non-truths.  Consequently, drama and negativity spread like a wildfire! Preparing for Crucial Conversations What to do?  As a leader you must think carefully through the what, who and how of a crucial conversation: Know what crucial conversation needs to be had: what is the communication breakdown that needs to be cleared up? Decide who is involved with the communication breakdown that needs to be a part of this conversation.  Who owns this conversation?  Who is feeling misunderstood? Think about how this conversation needs to be handled, the best way …

Feel the Fear – Be Powerful Beyond Measure!

I was thinking about how “fear” can hold us back from so much, both personally and professionally.  Fear paralyzes us from taking action, from taking a risk, from love… In wonderful passage in A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, she writes: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love Please read this passage again, feel what touches you today.  There will be a moment today when you hesitate because of this four …

Leading Staff through Holiday Stress

The holidays are a busy time and can be truly challenging, both personally and professionally. Often when we are stressed, going in too many directions, overwhelmed, or dealing with organizational changes, our EQ takes a real nosedive; regardless of our rank or position (CEO’s to the front lines)!  If, during stressful times, we take a few minutes to take a deep breath and think things through before we speak, we move from reactive mode to proactive mode and avoid being “inhumane”, which always turns out to be counter-productive.  Recognizing Humanity in Organizations All organizations are “living organisms” filled with human beings.  A colleague of mine, Sandi Cardillo, has a beautiful saying:  “Make change more human for the humans.”  Regardless of the type of change — loss of staff, shuffling the organizational chart, financial reorganization, company growth, etc. — the goal should be to “make the change more human for the humans”. As leaders, our goal is to get things done through others. As leaders, it is our job to set the compass for all our team members to grow and to bring their own capabilities (strengths) to the organization. As leaders, we create the environment for them to succeed by getting them in the right seat of the bus and then trusting they have the capability …

The Season of Gratitude

As our Thanksgiving holiday here in the US is around the corner (November 27th) and our Canadian friends have already celebrated their Thanksgiving (October 13th), I am reminded to think about Being Grateful. We are all so busy with this wonderful adventure called life. It is easy to just keep going day in and day out without taking the time to simply think about what we are grateful for in our daily lives. I was recently challenged by one of my mentors, Chris Osborn, CEO of Coach Training Alliance, to answer the questions: How does gratitude manifest itself in your life? What is the role of gratitude in coaching? As I thought about my response to these questions, the Cornucopia popped into my mind and I found a great history of the Cornucopia dating back to 15 BC. Check it out! Gratitude manifests in my life through so many ways I see gratitude on many levels: Basic Gratitude:  So grateful for a roof over my head, food on the table and “safe” place to live, where I am free to go for a walk in solitude and peace. Physical Gratitude:  For the life I have lived so far with a healthy body and mind. (well most times a …

What People Want

What do customers, friends, the socially networked, users, neighbors, classmates, servers, administrators, employees… maybe even brands… want? notice me like me touch me do what I say miss me if I’m gone The above blog was written by Seth Godin, Saturday, May 14, 2011.  I thought about this and how it applies to leadership and the most impactful way to treat people. The following are my thoughts and expansion on what Seth wrote.   As a leader, it is imperative that you constantly feed your staff.  They want to hear it from YOU! Notice me – acknowledge me when I do something right and value what I bring to this company Like me – smile, ask about ME, get to know me, ask me what I do when I am not at work Touch me – send note cards with acknowledging and supportive comments, connect with the heart Do what I say – ask for my suggestions and take action on some of my suggestions Miss me if I am gone – always acknowledge the strengths a person has brought to the organization All of your staff like to be “touched” by you.  Not in the physical sense of course!  In the heart.  You as the leader, have the “magic touch” to motivate, …