Use an Elephant to Improve Communication

Use an Elephant to Improve Communication

elephant in the room

How many times have you been in a meeting and know there is something that needs to be said (everyone is feeling/sensing it) and no one is talking about it???  This leads to communication break downs within organizations, which can negatively impact productivity, effectiveness, relationships, success and fulfillment in the workplace. What can we do about it?  You got it! Talk about the Elephant in the Room!

What’s the elephant?

In case you haven’t heard the term before:

“Elephant in the room” or ” Elephant in the living room ‘ is a metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.

Wikipedia definitions

The term refers to a question, problem, solution, or controversial issue which is obvious to everyone who knows about the situation, but which is deliberately ignored because to do otherwise would cause great embarrassment, or trigger arguments or is simply taboo. The idiom can imply a value judgment that the issue ought to be discussed openly, or it can simply be an acknowledgment that the issue is there and not going to go away by itself.

This idiomatic phrase is applicable when a subject is emotionally charged; and the people who might have spoken up decide that it is probably best avoided.

Use a real elephant to address the issues

I recommend to many of the organizations I work with, to actually have an elephant at all meetings.  Here is how you can use it in your organization!

  • Have an elephant present at every meeting you have with your staff, even if there are only two of you. (here is a link for the one I use: Flopsie Plush Elephant)
  • During the meeting, if someone picks up the elephant, all conversation stops and all ears are towards the person who picked up the elephant.
  • The person sharesfrom their perception, the elephant they are observing.
  • It is really important to keep in mind the skills of a Crucial Conversation. 
    • Do not make personal attacks,
    • Share from your own perception,
    • Use “I” statements, and,
    • Ask for feedback/additional thoughts about what has been shared.
  • Each participant in the meeting has an opportunity to share from their perspective what they are observing.
  • Work through “the elephant” before continuing with your current agenda.

When a team starts using the Elephant strategy to break through those “items” that most don’t want to discuss, there is a bit of chaos that occurs at first.  Stick with it!  Keep having those difficult conversations, and you will be amazed at how your communication improves. Tackling elephants increases the level of honest, meaningful conversations that build trust and growth for your entire team, which impacts the growth of the organization.

The elephant is important

Your People, your Human Capital, are the Soul of your Organization. Through these sometimes difficult conversations, the connectivity of your team grows deeper and deeper, which directly impacts the success of your organization.

If you and your team don’t start talking about “the elephant in the room”, what do you think it will cost you?  Loss of great human beings, internal suffering from not being able to speak the truth, loss of opportunities for all to grow and develop, growth of meaningful relationships, great ideas and possibilities can be shut down.

By the way – this technique works in personal relationships as well!

 Happy Elephant Hunting!

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