Category: <span>Communication</span>

Crucial Conversations with the I style

If you’re a high I, here’s how you relate… …to a high D: People with the D style like to get right to the point. They’re probably straightforward and even blunt at times, while you’re more likely to spend time building friendly relationships rather than focusing quickly on the bottom line. As a result, they may become frustrated if you spend too much time socializing, and you may sometimes take their frankness personally. Strategies: When trying to connect, minimize small talk, and dig right into business. Avoid taking it personally when they ignore efforts to be friendly and go directly to topics at hand. Show them how your people-focused approach can bring bottom-line results. When solving problems, avoid emphasizing other people’s feelings at the expense of finding workable answers. Refrain from suggesting unrealistically positive scenarios Take time to consider whether your speedy decisions might cause more problems in the future. If things get tense, don’t brush problems under the rug just to keep things friendly. Avoid interpreting their directness as a personal attack. State your points objectively rather than lashing out emotionally. …to another I style: People with the ‘I’ style thrive in high-energy settings where they can work collaboratively …

Crucial Conversations with the D Style

If you’re a high D, here’s how you relate to each of the styles: …to another high D: People with the D style like to get right to the point. They want things to happen quickly and don’t want to spend a lot of time dwelling on specifics. Because both of you tend to be straightforward, you may try to clear the air and get things moving. But since you share a strong-willed and competitive nature, you may overwhelm each other’s ideas with your own opinions. As a result, neither of you may listen to what the other has to say.  Each and every person has a sacred point of view and deserves to be heard and understood.  Strategies: Focus on dialogue rather than talking over each other. Don’t push back too forcefully if they get assertive. Give them time to present their case without interrupting before offering your own ideas. When solving problems, don’t be so insistent on your own solutions that you dismiss the merit of their ideas. Remember that the goal is to solve problems, not to win as an individual. Be willing to compromise at times. If things get tense, address the situation directly but avoid …

Mastering Difficult Conversations

One of the things I hear quite often from Leaders and Managers at all levels:   “I have to have a Crucial Conversation with someone, and I don’t know how…” This is understandable. Crucial conversations can be difficult. But they are key to helping your team improve performance. As a leader, one of the most important and valuable tools you can develop is the ability to have effective Crucial Conversations with those you lead and manage.  There’s a link below to a brief video by James Robbins on “How to Challenge an Employee”.  This video talks about the “emotional science” behind a conversation with a person asking them to “up their game!”  This is difficult for both people involved in the conversation.  Both manager and employee have an emotional spike that is directly connected to FEAR and/or ANGER!  Some of the emotional spikes/thoughts both parties may have: Emotional Spike For the Manager/Leader: How do I start the conversation? What do I say? Will I hurt their feelings? How do I tell them they are not doing a great job, I need them to step up? Will they still want to work here? How do I ask them to increase their performance? Will …

Leaders Listen, Laugh, and Love

I have been working with “leaders” for a long time – over 30 years.  Wow!  The time has flown by and what a learning journey it has been and continues to be every day! I have worked with some amazing leaders, who were and continue to be my teachers, mentors, and coaches.  These people continue to challenge me to be more self aware and continuously challenge myself to a higher level of accountability and growth.  Thank you! There are three important skills a leader brings to their organization to encourage growth in their organizations:   Listening, Laughing and Loving. Listen Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Stephen Covey We live in a very “noisy” society.  Everyone and everything is clamoring for our attention and they all seem to be getting louder and louder (Social Media, Podcasts, Blogs, Traditional Media, Emails, Texts…).  There is a lot being said, but how many of us are truly listening? What does listening as a leader mean?  It means using Pareto’s 80/20 rule.  Listen 80%, Talk 20%.  This is not an easy task!  When we take the time to listen to our staff, we are telling them they are important, we value them and …

Use an Elephant to Improve Communication

How many times have you been in a meeting and know there is something that needs to be said (everyone is feeling/sensing it) and no one is talking about it???  This leads to communication break downs within organizations, which can negatively impact productivity, effectiveness, relationships, success and fulfillment in the workplace. What can we do about it?  You got it! Talk about the Elephant in the Room! What’s the elephant? In case you haven’t heard the term before: “Elephant in the room” or ” Elephant in the living room ‘ is a metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is going unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss. Wikipedia definitions The term refers to a question, problem, solution, or controversial issue which is obvious to everyone who knows about the situation, but which is deliberately ignored because to do otherwise would cause great embarrassment, or trigger arguments or is simply taboo. The idiom can imply a value judgment that the issue ought to be discussed openly, or it can simply be an acknowledgment that the issue is there and not going to go away by itself. This idiomatic phrase is applicable when a subject is emotionally charged; and the people who might …

Acting It Out Instead of Talking It Out

Crucial conversations in the workplace are critical to success and a healthy culture.  When truths need to be shared but they are not, negative energy builds and we start talking about others instead of to the personwhere the communication breakdown occurred.   When we choose not to talk to the person where the misunderstanding has occurred we have stepped into the place of Acting it Out!  Or, another way we Act it Out is by avoidance – we avoid the person, we become sarcastic and start picking at another person for no apparent reason…passive-aggressive behavior! This solves nothing and creates an unsafe culture for everyone.  Secret conversations (talking about others behind their backs) begin and they spread like a virus and most of what is “passed on” to others are non-truths.  Consequently, drama and negativity spread like a wildfire! Preparing for Crucial Conversations What to do?  As a leader you must think carefully through the what, who and how of a crucial conversation: Know what crucial conversation needs to be had: what is the communication breakdown that needs to be cleared up? Decide who is involved with the communication breakdown that needs to be a part of this conversation.  Who owns this conversation?  Who is feeling misunderstood? Think about how this conversation needs to be handled, the best way …

Communication is Key to a Leaders Success

I was talking with a client today, and he shared with me the great success that is taking place within his company. He stated that the success is due to his constant attention to “Re-training, Re-immersion and Reemphasis” to the core Mission, Vision, Values and Purpose of his company. Not too long ago, he got all of his staff together to create a current Mission, Vision, Values and Purpose for the company. This created tremendous buy in from the entire staff. They felt a part of the company and felt valued by the company to be a part of this process. In addition, every day the company has a ten minute “Huddle Meeting” via the phone where the workload for the day is shared and discussed and one person is asked on the call (spontaneously) to discuss how the Mission of the company is in alignment with the work that will be done that day. Or, how the Purpose of the company will help to get the duties and tasks accomplished. Or, how the Vision of the company will help grow the company. At first, when he started this exercise, staff did not respond well…now they are prepared and state …