Category: <span>Emotional Intelligence</span>

Category: Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Mindfulness

Mindful Leadership

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by Marguerite Ham I recently reread a powerful book by Janice Marturano, “Finding the Space to Lead,” about mindful leadership.  Because of all the turmoil in our country and world, it seems that everywhere I look, experts are talking about the importance of Mindfulness, Emotional Intelligence, and Empathy.  This includes the World Health Organization, CDC, MindfulLeadership.org, Forbes, Huffington Post, Harvard Business Review — the list goes on.  This blog focuses on mindfulness and its impact on our ability to lead.    So, what is mindfulness?  Let’s start with saying what it is not!  Mindfulness isn’t: Religion New Age, Chanting, Burning Incense Emptying the Mind Not about stopping thinking Achieving Relaxation There are lots of definitions of mindfulness. Here are a few: Janice Marturano:  Non-judgmental, moment to moment awareness.  It is about becoming more of who we are.  MindfulLeader.org:  Ability to see oneself and the world with clarity and equanimity, enabling actions to arise from a place of stillness, understanding and compassion. Wikipedia Definition:  the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.  A mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a …

Emotional Intelligence, Leadership, Life Balance

Leadership and Gratitude

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Thanksgiving is right around the corner and a perfect time for reflecting on the people we are grateful for in our personal and professional lives. Find ways to demonstrate gratitude all year long! In my workshops and retreats discussing leadership, there are many important leadership characteristics that seem to come up over and over again: Humility Honest and Respectful Communication Clear Vision Trustworthy I am certain you could add many more to this list… The one characteristic I wish I heard more often is Showing Gratitude.  There is a lot of research that supports leadership and the importance of thanking people and showing gratitude.  When co-workers, peers, direct reports, and employees feel adequately recognized and appreciated, they take more ownership in their position, feel more fulfilled, and actually stay at their job.  We know and understand the painful costs in time and energy in replacing valuable staff members.  Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: You can see how Showing Gratitude fits into four out of the five basic human needs.  Knowing this, why don’t more leaders demonstrate their gratitude by providing positive feedback and recognition?  Here are some reasons:    They feel that the employee is paid well, and providing them with …

Coaching, Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership

Mastering Difficult Conversations

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One of the things I hear quite often from Leaders and Managers at all levels:   “I have to have a Crucial Conversation with someone, and I don’t know how…” This is understandable. Crucial conversations can be difficult. But they are key to helping your team improve performance. As a leader, one of the most important and valuable tools you can develop is the ability to have effective Crucial Conversations with those you lead and manage.  There’s a link below to a brief video by James Robbins on “How to Challenge an Employee”.  This video talks about the “emotional science” behind a conversation with a person asking them to “up their game!”  This is difficult for both people involved in the conversation.  Both manager and employee have an emotional spike that is directly connected to FEAR and/or ANGER!  Some of the emotional spikes/thoughts both parties may have: Emotional Spike For the Manager/Leader: How do I start the conversation? What do I say? Will I hurt their feelings? How do I tell them they are not doing a great job, I need them to step up? Will they still want to work here? How do I ask them to increase their performance? Will …

Communication, Emotional Intelligence, Leadership

Leaders Listen, Laugh, and Love

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I have been working with “leaders” for a long time – over 30 years.  Wow!  The time has flown by and what a learning journey it has been and continues to be every day! I have worked with some amazing leaders, who were and continue to be my teachers, mentors, and coaches.  These people continue to challenge me to be more self aware and continuously challenge myself to a higher level of accountability and growth.  Thank you! There are three important skills a leader brings to their organization to encourage growth in their organizations:   Listening, Laughing and Loving. Listen Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Stephen Covey We live in a very “noisy” society.  Everyone and everything is clamoring for our attention and they all seem to be getting louder and louder (Social Media, Podcasts, Blogs, Traditional Media, Emails, Texts…).  There is a lot being said, but how many of us are truly listening? What does listening as a leader mean?  It means using Pareto’s 80/20 rule.  Listen 80%, Talk 20%.  This is not an easy task!  When we take the time to listen to our staff, we are telling them they are important, we value them and …

Emotional Intelligence, Life Balance, Success

Frogs and Tomatoes Beat Procrastination

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How many of you spent time creating goals for 2016?  How many of your goals fell by the wayside  because of PROCRASTINATION and anxiety about not having enough time? Wouldn’t it be great to have a strategy to deal with procrastination and make some real progress, particularly on those goals you don’t really enjoy? Find Your Frogs and Eat Them! In his best-selling book “Eat That Frog!”, Brian Tracy talks about “Eating the Frog First”.  The “Frog” represents the task or goal you least want to tackle or get started on.  Here is strategy about how to tackle “the frogs” in your life.  He suggests that you Eat the Frog First to start your day. That way, it is off your plate, and you don’t have a “frog” sitting on your shoulder.  Combining this technique with the time-management technique below could be a winning combination for Getting Things Done, accomplishing your new goals in 2017, and actually overcoming procrastination. Fight Procrastination with Tomatoes The Pomodoro Technique was developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s to help people break down tasks into manageable work units and stay on task to complete them. The core of the technique is the belief that …

Coaching, Emotional Intelligence, Life Balance, Stress

The Season of Gratitude

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As our Thanksgiving holiday here in the US is around the corner (November 27th) and our Canadian friends have already celebrated their Thanksgiving (October 13th), I am reminded to think about Being Grateful. We are all so busy with this wonderful adventure called life. It is easy to just keep going day in and day out without taking the time to simply think about what we are grateful for in our daily lives. I was recently challenged by one of my mentors, Chris Osborn, CEO of Coach Training Alliance, to answer the questions: How does gratitude manifest itself in your life? What is the role of gratitude in coaching? As I thought about my response to these questions, the Cornucopia popped into my mind and I found a great history of the Cornucopia dating back to 15 BC. Check it out! Gratitude manifests in my life through so many ways I see gratitude on many levels: Basic Gratitude:  So grateful for a roof over my head, food on the table and “safe” place to live, where I am free to go for a walk in solitude and peace. Physical Gratitude:  For the life I have lived so far with a healthy body and mind. (well most times a …