I Wish YOU Would Change!

I Wish YOU Would Change!

Can you believe it’s March already? Spring arrives this month, so we “spring forward.” Before April comes, there will be a bustling feeling of rebirth and renewal in the air. Consequently, we feel an urge to make a change in our own lives.

Spring flowers

Are you stuck in a rut?

Spring is a great time to consider change in our lives, whether it’s personal or professional, mental or physical or spiritual, ourselves or our relationships. Too often, we get stuck in ruts and wish things would change, or try to change only to find that it’s way harder than we thought. This month, our blog theme is change, in order to greet spring and renew and rebuild ourselves!

How do we know we need a change? Some of the thoughts that may run though our heads are:

  • “I only wish (Name) would change and do (this – fill in the blank)!”
  • “(This) just keeps on happening to me!”
  • “Why can’t (name) behave or do (this)!”

It’s not you — it’s me.

It’s only natural when we’re not entirely happy with the status quo that we wish others would change around us and live up to our expectations.  Actually, the only person we have the power to change is OURSELVES!  Pay attention to how you are responding and feeling to what others are doing!  Raise your awareness around your reaction!

Seek to Understand – not to change!  Much of the difficulty in any relationship, personal or professional, comes from our thinking we can change someone else’s behavior or attitude.  The only person you can change is you!  The impulse to change another’s behavior usually comes up from the dissatisfaction in an aspect of ourselves.  (Read that sentence again!) 

Attempting to change someone else’s personality, attitude, style or mode of processing won’t work, and will contribute to destroying the relationship you may have with them.  What someone believes is more important than what they know.  Learn what your co-worker, friend, supervisor, family member’s belief system is, because their belief system drives their behavior.

Align change with your values

Belief system comes into play with gender, generation, groups (who you hang out with) etc.  Take the time to understand what a person believes in, and what is important to them – their values!  Values will drive a person’s behavior – they are an individual’s internal GPS system! Consequently, we should consider values before we consider making a change.

What do you believe?

Some examples of values:  (BTW:  this can be a great idea for a positive round at your staff meetings!)

  • Commitment
  • Excellence
  • Respect
  • Support
  • Beliefs
  • Traditions
  • Compassion
  • Integrity
  • Security

Here is a fantastic list of 400 values – pick 4 or 5 that resonate with you! If you have trouble, go ahead and make a larger list, then pick the most important values out of THAT list, and so forth, until you’re down to your 4-5 core and unshakable values.

Values List

Why are those beliefs important to you?

Once you have chosen the values that seem personally meaningful, think about them more deeply.

Questions to consider:

  • What do these mean to you?
  • What do these mean to your co-workers?
  • What do these mean to how you interact with each other on a daily basis?
  • How do these impact the families and/or customers you serve?
  • How do they relate to your organization’s stated values?
  • Are you ALL IN (on board with your organizations Vision, Mission and Values)?

Find time to ask some of these questions of yourself, your co-workers, your manager etc. You may be surprised what you learn and how your perception changes about that person.  Seek to understand – not to change!

“You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on with you.”

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