Author: Marguerite Ham

If you’re a high S, here’s how you relate… …to a high D: People with the D style like to get right to the point. They’re willing to be straightforward and even blunt at times in the interest of making rapid process. You’re more likely to be tactful and soft-spoken, so they may dominate discussions with you. While they may not see this as a problem, you probably feel somewhat intimidated by them. At the same time, they may become frustrated by your unwillingness to speak up. Strategies: When trying to connect, avoid appearing too hesitant and indecisive. Remember that they appreciate a direct approach, so don’t be afraid to tell them what you’re thinking. Be prepared for their candor. When solving problems, avoid appearing hesitant or indecisive. Be willing to take a stronger stance. Speak up to make sure you have a voice in the solution. If things get tense, avoid giving in to their demands just to regain harmony. Know that hiding your true feelings could be more harmful than speaking candidly. Be aware that they will reciprocate when you challenge them, and they may be more aggressive. …to an I style: People with the Ii’ style are …

If you’re a high I, here’s how you relate… …to a high D: People with the D style like to get right to the point. They’re probably straightforward and even blunt at times, while you’re more likely to spend time building friendly relationships rather than focusing quickly on the bottom line. As a result, they may become frustrated if you spend too much time socializing, and you may sometimes take their frankness personally. Strategies: When trying to connect, minimize small talk, and dig right into business. Avoid taking it personally when they ignore efforts to be friendly and go directly to topics at hand. Show them how your people-focused approach can bring bottom-line results. When solving problems, avoid emphasizing other people’s feelings at the expense of finding workable answers. Refrain from suggesting unrealistically positive scenarios Take time to consider whether your speedy decisions might cause more problems in the future. If things get tense, don’t brush problems under the rug just to keep things friendly. Avoid interpreting their directness as a personal attack. State your points objectively rather than lashing out emotionally. …to another I style: People with the ‘I’ style thrive in high-energy settings where they can work collaboratively …

If you’re a high D, here’s how you relate to each of the styles: …to another high D: People with the D style like to get right to the point. They want things to happen quickly and don’t want to spend a lot of time dwelling on specifics. Because both of you tend to be straightforward, you may try to clear the air and get things moving. But since you share a strong-willed and competitive nature, you may overwhelm each other’s ideas with your own opinions. As a result, neither of you may listen to what the other has to say.  Each and every person has a sacred point of view and deserves to be heard and understood.  Strategies: Focus on dialogue rather than talking over each other. Don’t push back too forcefully if they get assertive. Give them time to present their case without interrupting before offering your own ideas. When solving problems, don’t be so insistent on your own solutions that you dismiss the merit of their ideas. Remember that the goal is to solve problems, not to win as an individual. Be willing to compromise at times. If things get tense, address the situation directly but avoid …